Buhay sa Korea

My husband reminded me this morning that it is our wedding anniversary today. We were married in June 2003 in the Philippines in a civil ceremony but we had a Korean wedding ceremony in May 2004. It wasn’t our idea, we didn’t want to have a wedding party but the parents-in-law were worried of what the people might say if we didn’t have one. Anyway, it wasn’t a lot of trouble. They planned everything and we just had to be there. One thing I regret though, I was at my fattest self on my wedding day. I didn’t know about Phentermine that time.

On our wedding day, my then four-year old niece Isabel was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, an extracranial solid cancer according to Wikipedia. She had undergone several surgeries, chemotheraphy, radiation therapy and even stem cell transplantation. She is eight years old now and so full of life. She sings well and when you talk to her, you would think she’s older than her biological age — not sure if that’s really a good thing.

My husband and I visited a day care center located near our apartment last Saturday morning. They are called 어린이집 (eo-ri-ni jib or children’s house) here. I’ll go back to school for my Masters next fall and I want to send my son there earlier so he’ll get used to it. There are privately-owned and government-run children’s house. The one we chose is managed by the local district office. Both charges 327,000 won (around US$320 ) for a two-year old child. That doesn’t include food and other things that could come up later.

The center opens at 7:30 AM until 7:30 PM but if you want to leave your child longer, then you’ll have to pay an additional. I was surprised to see young kids there on a Saturday. There were about a dozen when we visited. They accept children as young as 3-months! I saw baby cribs in one of the rooms. We were given a tour by the manager and she also told us about the activities that they have. We asked if it’s possible to just put our son there for a maximum four hours a day until fall. The fee is the same! So we just decided to wait until the summer. I can’t imagine leaving my son there at his age for 12 hours!

Hagwons (학원) are private cram schools that are oh-so-ubiquitous in South Korea. Almost every student in Korea, from elementary to middle and high schools, attend private classes after their regular schools. Some start their classes as early as 5 o’clock in the morning and ends at 11 in the evening. Most of these classes are for English, advanced Math, Korean, History, and some are for special classes like Music, Arts and TaeKwonDo. My husband’s eldest niece, who is just eleven years old, has been attending private schools since she was five! Now that she’s in middle school, she attends classes from 8 o’clock in the morning until 10 at night. At home, she still has to study online. They also have regular school classes every other Saturday and attends private school even on Sundays. They don’t spend their summer and winter vacations doing nothing either. They also have private classes during that time. I’m sounding so redundant!

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know about the Japanese but Korean students study for so many hours. I wonder how they could fit “cyworld” and “starcraft” into their very hectic schedules! And to think that there are talks the Seoul city government is planning to deregulate hagwons. Many parents are afraid that they might run for 24 hours and will further stress the kids. Come to think of it, why do parents and teachers put up with this culture. They seriously need better parenting advice. I’m a parent too and my son will most likely attend high school in Korea. However, I want him to experience the joy of high school and not just the boring, tedious part of it. After all, I don’t believe that you have to study 20 hours a day to be successful.

I posted about “dol” or first birthday in the past. Although my son is Korean and my husband’s family is traditional, we didn’t celebrate his first birthday last year the traditional way. Instead of having just one big party, he had three small ones. About a month before his actual birthday, we celebrated with my family and friends in the Philippines. The weekend before the date of his birth, we had a “han-woo” (Korean beef) dinner with my husband’s family and friends. And on the exact date of his natal day, my pinay friends in Seoul and their kids celebrated with us.

Last year, my father-in-law celebrated his 70th birthday or “go-hui”. The 60th birthday is called “hwan-gap” or 환갑. The “hwan-gap” is celebrated more lavishly, like you see in Korean dramas. For my FIL’s “go-hui”, the whole family with some relatives and close friends just had a dinner at a pricey restaurant. We had a multi-course Korean dinner (”han-jeong-shik”) at Jahamun in Jongro-gu.

We wore the hanbok at this important occasion. I didn’t really enjoy the dinner because of my son who was having a really bad mood that day, but the food was greattttt! (I didn’t enjoy the dinner because I wasn’t able to eat everything that was served.) The restaurant had the best chapchae (Korean chopsuey?) I ever had.

In a “go-hui” (or even a “hwan-gap”) ceremony, the parents sit at the main banquet table with all the ceremonial rice cake and fruits (most of which are fake) in front of them. The sons and daughter(s) and their spouses take their turns to bow and offer wine to the parents. This is done according to age. The grandchildren then take their turn in paying respects, followed by the other relatives and friends.

After the ceremony is done, we had our pictures taken. Since I was part of the ceremony (and I was taking care of my son), I wasn’t able to hold the camera. With the pictorial done, we then sat at the banquet table and were served the multi-course meal. It could have been a really good meal (at 150K won per head it should be!), but like I’d said I wasn’t able to eat or taste every meal that was served. Sayang!

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My husband and I were just talking about getting a family insurance a few days ago. It was reported on the 9 o’clock news here in Korea (yes, I watch Korean news!) that the government will increase the premium on insurance and decrease the coverage. We are currently covered only by the government insurance service but I guess it’s time to get private insurance. I remember my brother-in-law telling us to get at least three more coverages! In this case, it’s necessary to find a company that will help us save money on insurance premium.

Here in Korea, insurance infomercials abound. And we constantly receive insurance quotes or proposals by snail mail and SMS. I guess that shows how necessary insurance has become. After all, we’re not sure of what the future will be and if we love our families it’s better to be safe (or insured) than sorry.

We didn’t have a grand summer vacation this year. And instead of going to some place by ourselves, we spent it with my husband’s family in their hometown, Jechon. We went to a camping site in Bakdaljae, parked our cars, set up a tent and prepared a wonderful lunch while the kids played in the water. The men cooked “samgyeopsal” (Korean bacon wrapped in lettuce leaf) while the women prepared the picnic blankets and I took care of my son. After lunch some went to the natural and non-chlorinated water playground (mul noriteo 물놀이터). My husband played with his nephews and niece. There was a heavy rainstorm (sonagi 소나기) that day, which cut our afternoon short. The next day, we went to Cheongpung Land, also located in Jecheon. My first sister-in-law and her kids took on the “big swing” while my second sister-in-law bungee jumped! I couldn’t do any of those, I thought I was too heavy for them. LOL! After Cheongpung Land, we went to the Cheongpung Cultural Complex. We didn’t enter the park because there were so many people that day. There were three buses full of Vietnamese tourists visiting the park. That evening, my brothers-in-law and their families went back to Seoul. The following day, we drove to a find a stream in the afternoon. In one camping site, there were just so many people that there wasn’t almost any room to sit down nor park our car. One lesson I learned from this summer vacation is that it’s not really necessary to spend a lot of money to enjoy and have fun. It’s even more enjoyable when you don’t spend money!

NGO to assist migrant women to visit homeland during vacation

This was posted by a Filipino in a mailing list. I think this is a really good idea. Plane tickets to the Philippines is sooooo expensive. I’ve been checking the internet for fares back home and the cheapest one I’ve seen by far is about $380 for a 15-day roundtrip via Cebu Pacific. Asiana and Korean Airlines charges about a $100 more. Add to that is the airport fee or tax which is almost $70.

My son and I will be travelling to the Philippines this weekend for a month’s vacation. The plane fare is just outrageously expensive, considering that it’s not even the peak season. Last year when a friend went back home for her summer vacation, she paid almost $900 for a 15-day roundtrip ticket. That’s almost the same fare for a 90-day roundtrip ticket to the United States!

The Nalja Project is a really great idea. Not a lot of Filipinas (or Vietnamese) who married Koreans can afford to go back to their hometowns for a vacation. It’s also a good chance for their Korean husbands to learn about their background.