Ten Years in Korea: As A Filipina Daughter-in-Law

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20 Responses

  1. Sam Kim says:

    As a newbie here in Korea what you just shared will definitely help me and others. Thanks for posting. Hugs!!!

  2. elyoka says:

    If there were a LIKE bottom on your blog, I’d definitely press it now ) Thanks!

  3. Ben Arnold says:

    Wow, best article I’ve ever seen on that! You’re amazing for writing it. Thank you so much, this will be a great blessing to anyone who reads it, I pray everyone gets a chance to see it, because everyone needs this encouraging story and support and motivation in their lives. You’re truly a great person, mother, wife, and daughter-in-law with a great family! I can say that after watching my perfect wife during our 10 year marriage raise our 4 kids, and enduring our 3 sets of in-laws! Now she has a 4th set! And 5th child! I will send your article to her, she’ll love it! Koreans would scream in shock at how American families do it! Philippines is closer to the American style so you understand how it is. Love having a diverse world with so many beautiful cultures, life’s stories, and people who teach us new things about ourselves and world. Thank you for sharing yours!
    -Ben ㅅㅅ

  4. ellen says:

    whenever i watch kdramas, i am appalled on how korean daughters -in-law are treated. they seem to be subjecting their daughters in law to some kind of hazing or initiation rites like in fraternities. how long does it last? their eating while you’re standing up, waiting on the family members etc etc do they really happen? are they really expected to do household chores even if they work? will you be as ‘cruel’ to your daughter in law if and when your son get married in the future.

    • Betchay says:

      I don’t watch K-dramas a lot so I’m not sure how the daughters-in-law in the stories are treated. Based on my experience, I never had to stand up while the whole family is eating. AFter arranging the side dishes on the table, we all sit down to eat. At first, I didn’t want to sit down with them because I thought the table was too crowded and I would rather wait but my MIL thought it improper. I did household chores even if I had to work. If I don’t, nobody will. My husband prefers that he mops the floor. He doesn’t trust my mopping skill… I don’t see doing household chores or serving the family as “cruel”. For me, it’s more of a duty~~ like everyone in the family has a duty to fulfill.

  5. This is a very informative and inspirational post. A must read for those Pinays who had married a foreign better half…

  6. Rah Yhanne says:

    This post is very informative and helpful for many Filipinas married to a Korean, I always read stories of them running away from their husband because of misunderstanding, and problems with their MIL.

  7. Web Henyo says:

    wow. congrats on your 1st decade. more decades to come.hindi man decades, pero sana makastay ako ng korea kahit 1 week. ahahaha. maybe sa 2014.. hope

  8. christina says:

    Hi there. thanks for sharing your experience. I have a korean bf now and were living together in the PI. I do have a question though, just in case we marry, how do I become a korean passport holder? Thanks. 🙂

  9. Martha says:

    Hello Filipina here in USA married to an American, but my best friend of over 30 years in Korean. This was so very informative because I get phone calls from her all the time about the anxiety she faces as a Korean woman married to a Korean man. She works tirelessly to please her PIL (especially her MIL) while her SILs really don’t do much. She really tries to keep the peace but she says she appreciates that she has a friend to talk to. Your article helps in giving me a better perspective since I sort of felt helpless when it came to advice. Most of the time I just say “hang in there” or “I am sure they appreciate you”. Thank you.

  10. vanessa says:

    hi..thanks for the informative blog about marrying a korean citizen.Can i ask for your advice,if you don’t mind? 🙂 I have a korean guy friend whom i have talked to for 2 years now and wanted to visit me in phil. He wanted to marry me and i have not yet told him what i really feel for him.I like him and i can honestly say i begin to have feelings for him cos he’s really a nice guy..never rude nor judgemental,or anything but really nice,decent and polite.I kind of hesitant to accept his proposal cos my parents are not in favor of koreans.i guess they were so annoyed of me listening to kpop and watch kdramas , watching my bias group videos or they just get mad at me spending time on my pc watching them on youtube LOL (i already lessened it since then or rather can’t let them caught me watching kpop or play kpop on my player) He’s gonna visit me in a couple of months from now (btw, I am not using him just to get to korea and see often my bias kpop group as funny as it sounds XD ) but i am hesitant and afraid of everything , foreign wives, or basically all that you’ve written,not that I hate household chores or taking care of his family but everything,new culture,new people,new language and new job.Thank God though his parents have died already so my concerns will be his siblings .kkkkk anyway, i wanted to ask you as well,what we will do when i accept his marriage.Will we marry here in phil. to get me a visa or we can get marry in korea like a fiancee visa??And i read that foreign spouses are eligible as english teacher after study or training?kindly help please..i am sooo confused so i can decide cos i don’t wanna hurt him if ever i back off ..i appreciate it so much

    • Betchay says:

      Hi Vanessa! I know how you feel. I felt the same ~ confused ~ before I got married. It’s really scary especially that we don’t have a crystal ball to see what could our future be. Why would you marry him if ever? Why wouldn’t you? If you say no, it’s inevitable that he will get hurt. When you decide to marry him and come to Korea, you need to be more confident of yourself. Forget the small stuff and think about positive things. There are Filipinas who come here who are too sensitive that the slightest thing annoys them.

      Oh… anyway, you should marry in the Philippines. Korea does not have a fiancee visa and yes, you could work as an English teacher.

      Like what I said, you should be sure of your decision. And once you make the commitment, stick to it.

  11. Sophie says:

    Sheesh, you worked so hard to please them and I can’t help but feel kind of angry for you, even if you don’t feel that way. Like, why would you put up with them disapproving of you wearing shorts in your own house when they are visiting? Your husband and children should come first, not bending over backwards for your unreasonable in-laws’ demands.
    Do they treat your son, their grandson, well?

    • Betchay says:

      Hi Sophie! I wear what I want to wear at home. I don’t wear socks, and my FIL always disapproves of it. When they start to complain, I just pretend I don’t understand. Yes, they treat my son well. In our family, it’s only my son who isn’t afraid of their grandfather. Thanks.

  12. Sophie says:

    Well, you’re a lot more tolerant than I’d be…lol…I just feel bad for all the Filipina women who marry into these families and have to cater to their in-laws hand and foot. I wish the in-laws, in general, were nicer to their non-Korean daughters-in-law. That’s probably one of the reasons why I’d probably never marry a traditional Korean man. Just out of curiosity, does your son (or children) speak Korean? Do they attend a regular Korean school or do they attend school for English speaking children?

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