Marrying a Korean
A lot of girls has been asking me about getting married to a Korean. Their questions range from the how-to’s to what it’s life being married to one. There are even those asking me to find them a guy here.
Marriage to a Korean is not as easy as it sounds. It’s definitely not so unlike the dramas you see on TV. When you marry a Korean, you marry into his family. Traditionally, a woman’s name is crossed-off her family register and she becomes a member of her husband’s family. My husband said that during Choseon dynasty, women didn’t have names. They are either daughters or wives of someone. And men of means were openly polygamous. However, women of nobility receive equal inheritance from their families. Married women also don’t change their last names to that of their husbands’.
Marrying a Korean requires a lot of thought. After all, it is your life. And although we are both Asians, they follow Confucian traditions more strictly than even the Chinese.
After much thought and you’re still hung on marrying your Korean boyfriend… here is the how-to.
Popularity: 13% [?]
I think Korea novelas are really potent in signaling out inaccurate impressions–when you have a Korean boyfriend, it’s mostly all happy, cheesy, kissy, touchy, and a bit brutal. Brutal?! In those soaps, it is quite legit and cutie cutie that boy kicks or drags girl by the hair, and girl kinda likes the soft masochism. haha. It think it’s one uniquely entertaining element of Korea novelas.
The last link seems to be broken. If I go to the website I can see it, but if I click to go into the particular post to comment, the same error occurs…
One of my friends had a problem with his mother’s tombstone. He had all daughters, so his name (or his kid’s names? I forget) are not listed, and he refuses to visit the grave until that is fixed.
How is foreign marriage perceived, though? Does the family accept you with open arm or with knives? =P
I love the Chnlove.com ad that is generated by this entry on the right, btw! XD
hi, betchay! one of my most favorite kdramas is ‘terms of endearment’ which really made me ask a lot of questions about marriage and family life in korea. the lead girl in ‘toe’ han gain married song il guk(playing a rich guy). after their marriage as if a form of initiation rites han gain serves his family while they eat, she does not eat with them, does a lot of housework and you get the impression that her status is just above that of a servant. when the mother learned that she has been and got pregnant with another man prior to their marriage, the mom went berserk drove her out of the house, locked her out and she isn’t allowed to eat anything in the house. i was telling myself, what is the advantage of being married to a korean man, you do not carry his surname, the kids if any belongs to the husband’s family in case of divorce. i’m just wondering about alimony and child support, how are they carried out. since you are a foreigner married to a korean national, are you covered by their laws pertaining to marriage and family. i hope you got married in the philippines
Hi. I have asked you some advice in the past through email and i thought i’d just post my other questions here so others can also benefit from your answers.
Im trying to look for a documentary of children born to Korean and Filipino parents. Can you provide the link to articles, documentaries, etc. on this topic? You have featured Ms. Fernandez and i read that her sons are now in the Philippines because they couldnt adapt in korea. Is discrimination against kids of interracial marriages that bad?
My boyfriend’s family is trying to accept the idea that their son might be married to a filipino . What they are worried about is the future of their grandkids. At first, I never really thought seriously about it but when I read about Fernandez’s kid, I started to get worried. I thought I could hurdle the “hardships” of being married to a Korean but things would be different when it comes to my future children. I don’t think I can risk them being bullied by their peers for not being a pure blood.
Do you have the same apprehensions about your son growing in Korea? You’ve been in Korea for quite some time and you have known a number of Filipinas married to Koreans. What do they think about this?
@lei >> i posted something on http://www.pinaysakorea.com/2008/04/16/discrimination-in-school
@ellen>> i got married in the philippines, but i’m now a korean citizen… i think when i got married, i never really thought about divorce, alimony or child support… it took us two years before we finally decided to have a child… and that time we are sure that we wanted to have a family and live together forever
Hi,
This is my first time in your blog. I enjoyed reading your post. I am always fascinated in other culture especially Korean Culture. If someone will give me an expense paid tour and I have to choose between Korea and USA, I’ll choose Korea. Post more with pics of Korea and their culture. I always thought if I did not get married soon, I might be looking for a Korean guy as a husband, probably because of the Korean dramas and movies that influenced me. As seen in most korean movies, marriage is marrying the guy’s family. They will keep you as theirs.
Thanks for the interesting post.
Cheers!
metropolismom
Metropolismoms last blog post..Becoming A Blogger
Hi betchay, I’m super fascinated with your blog and your willingness to help other people. I have been reading your blog since last year. and I guess you are super sikat na, especially your touist visa post,
I’ve gotten time to write now coz I really really really need your help. I’ve read that you got married here in the Phils. My fiance (now in Korea) and I (i’m here in Pinas) are planning to get married for me to get an F-2 visa. He’s planning to come here in Nov 2008. The problem is, he will only have 15 days to stay here because of his job and he will just get a promo ticket. This promo ticket allows him to stay 15 days only. Here are my questions:
1) Is it possible for us to get married in 15 days?
I know, marriage here under Phil law requires 10 consecutive days of posting before we can get a marriage license, so it is just our second option. Does Korean embassy have a service wherein we can have a civil wedding there, and how many days does it take?
2) And is it possible for me to apply the f-2 alone? I mean maybe my fiance wouldn’t be here anymore when I get time to apply for an f-2 visa.
I’m An American girl…half black and half white. It was easy for me to get my korean husband. He has to get a K1 fiancee visa. That grants him one entry into america to marry you. As long as you get married within 90 days of his arrival and petition to change status at immigration right after…things go very smoothly…in america anyway lol
My boyfriend is Korean but we plan to migrate in another country maybe in Australia or Canada. I told him beforehand that I’m really worried about living in Korea. I guess that gave me a huge relief but I’m still worried about his family although we plan to live away from them.