A lot of girls has been asking me about getting married to a Korean. Their questions range from the how-to’s to what it’s life being married to one. There are even those asking me to find them a guy here.
Marriage to a Korean is not as easy as it sounds. It’s definitely not so unlike the dramas you see on TV. When you marry a Korean, you marry into his family. Traditionally, a woman’s name is crossed-off her family register and she becomes a member of her husband’s family. My husband said that during Choseon dynasty, women didn’t have names. They are either daughters or wives of someone. And men of means were openly polygamous. However, women of nobility receive equal inheritance from their families. Married women also don’t change their last names to that of their husbands’.
Marrying a Korean requires a lot of thought. After all, it is your life. And although we are both Asians, they follow Confucian traditions more strictly than even the Chinese.
After much thought and you’re still hung on marrying your Korean boyfriend… here is the how-to.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I think Korea novelas are really potent in signaling out inaccurate impressions–when you have a Korean boyfriend, it’s mostly all happy, cheesy, kissy, touchy, and a bit brutal. Brutal?! In those soaps, it is quite legit and cutie cutie that boy kicks or drags girl by the hair, and girl kinda likes the soft masochism. haha. It think it’s one uniquely entertaining element of Korea novelas.
The last link seems to be broken. If I go to the website I can see it, but if I click to go into the particular post to comment, the same error occurs…
One of my friends had a problem with his mother’s tombstone. He had all daughters, so his name (or his kid’s names? I forget) are not listed, and he refuses to visit the grave until that is fixed.
How is foreign marriage perceived, though? Does the family accept you with open arm or with knives? =P
I love the Chnlove.com ad that is generated by this entry on the right, btw! XD
hi, betchay! one of my most favorite kdramas is ‘terms of endearment’ which really made me ask a lot of questions about marriage and family life in korea. the lead girl in ‘toe’ han gain married song il guk(playing a rich guy). after their marriage as if a form of initiation rites han gain serves his family while they eat, she does not eat with them, does a lot of housework and you get the impression that her status is just above that of a servant. when the mother learned that she has been and got pregnant with another man prior to their marriage, the mom went berserk drove her out of the house, locked her out and she isn’t allowed to eat anything in the house. i was telling myself, what is the advantage of being married to a korean man, you do not carry his surname, the kids if any belongs to the husband’s family in case of divorce. i’m just wondering about alimony and child support, how are they carried out. since you are a foreigner married to a korean national, are you covered by their laws pertaining to marriage and family. i hope you got married in the philippines
Hi. I have asked you some advice in the past through email and i thought i’d just post my other questions here so others can also benefit from your answers.
Im trying to look for a documentary of children born to Korean and Filipino parents. Can you provide the link to articles, documentaries, etc. on this topic? You have featured Ms. Fernandez and i read that her sons are now in the Philippines because they couldnt adapt in korea. Is discrimination against kids of interracial marriages that bad?
My boyfriend’s family is trying to accept the idea that their son might be married to a filipino . What they are worried about is the future of their grandkids. At first, I never really thought seriously about it but when I read about Fernandez’s kid, I started to get worried. I thought I could hurdle the “hardships” of being married to a Korean but things would be different when it comes to my future children. I don’t think I can risk them being bullied by their peers for not being a pure blood.
Do you have the same apprehensions about your son growing in Korea? You’ve been in Korea for quite some time and you have known a number of Filipinas married to Koreans. What do they think about this?
@lei >> i posted something on http://www.pinaysakorea.com/2008/04/16/discrimination-in-school
@ellen>> i got married in the philippines, but i’m now a korean citizen… i think when i got married, i never really thought about divorce, alimony or child support… it took us two years before we finally decided to have a child… and that time we are sure that we wanted to have a family and live together forever
Hi,
This is my first time in your blog. I enjoyed reading your post. I am always fascinated in other culture especially Korean Culture. If someone will give me an expense paid tour and I have to choose between Korea and USA, I’ll choose Korea. Post more with pics of Korea and their culture. I always thought if I did not get married soon, I might be looking for a Korean guy as a husband, probably because of the Korean dramas and movies that influenced me. As seen in most korean movies, marriage is marrying the guy’s family. They will keep you as theirs.
Thanks for the interesting post.
Cheers!
metropolismom
Metropolismoms last blog post..Becoming A Blogger
Hi betchay, I’m super fascinated with your blog and your willingness to help other people. I have been reading your blog since last year. and I guess you are super sikat na, especially your touist visa post,
I’ve gotten time to write now coz I really really really need your help. I’ve read that you got married here in the Phils. My fiance (now in Korea) and I (i’m here in Pinas) are planning to get married for me to get an F-2 visa. He’s planning to come here in Nov 2008. The problem is, he will only have 15 days to stay here because of his job and he will just get a promo ticket. This promo ticket allows him to stay 15 days only. Here are my questions:
1) Is it possible for us to get married in 15 days?
I know, marriage here under Phil law requires 10 consecutive days of posting before we can get a marriage license, so it is just our second option. Does Korean embassy have a service wherein we can have a civil wedding there, and how many days does it take?
2) And is it possible for me to apply the f-2 alone? I mean maybe my fiance wouldn’t be here anymore when I get time to apply for an f-2 visa.
I’m An American girl…half black and half white. It was easy for me to get my korean husband. He has to get a K1 fiancee visa. That grants him one entry into america to marry you. As long as you get married within 90 days of his arrival and petition to change status at immigration right after…things go very smoothly…in america anyway lol
My boyfriend is Korean but we plan to migrate in another country maybe in Australia or Canada. I told him beforehand that I’m really worried about living in Korea. I guess that gave me a huge relief but I’m still worried about his family although we plan to live away from them.
I’m married with korean guy too and have been living in korea for more than 6 yrs, it’s kinda difficult at first coz i felt like i dont have voice to say what i feel and do what i wanted to do but its a little different now coz i dont let my husband treat me like im his ahmm i forgot the word for that maybe maid-like, i hope you understand what im trying to say.. anyway i am so glad to be here and learn about this site coz i think i can learn from reading evryones comments and maybe i can help others too..have a nice day!!
hi Ms. Eina. I’m Cerylhen, 18, Filipina. I wanted to hear your thoughts and experiences in having a korean husband~ i have a korean boyfriend so your words might give me a lot of hints and help. Thank you. My email is cerylhen@live.com
whenever i read your entries i feel kinda frustrated. Always seem so negative like ,, it’s not easy etc….
However reading your blog made me more optimistic. I got my korean visa just in a week and i adjust quite well to my husband’s family as they welcomed me so warm
Thanks anyway kabayan.
hi Mei! the truth is it’s not really easy… but it’s not impossible to adjust to a married woman’s life here… even my sisters-in-law who are koreans would not say that it’s easy being a wife and a daughter-in-law here…
hello! what are the requirements in marrying a korean? my korean fiance and i have been in the relationship for more that a year now. we are planning to get married this year but i do not know the needed documents. please help me. thank you ms betchay.
hi apple! where do you plan to get married? is it in the Philippines or here in Korea?
do i just need a cenomar? actually, i cannot find the website of Korean embassy in the Philippines. please help me. thank you.
hi apple!
better visit your local registry office/civil registrar’s office (municipal hall) and ask for details and the list of requirements needed in getting married (to a korean). I got married at age 28 and the requirements were simple, i just don’t know if there are still other requirements for those marrying 25 under (in case you are 25 and younger)
as for your husband, he’ll need a Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage from the Korean Embassy. this certificate is one of the requirements that will be requested of you by the local registry. To get this certificate from the embassy, your husband has to present his Family Register Certificate from here (at least not more than 3 months old from date of issue. my husband had to request his brother here to get new certificates for him and mailed them to Philippines) and another certificate (i forgot the name) to prove he can be given the Cert of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage.
Anyway, here’s the address of the Korean Embassy. It’s really not difficult to find. The guards and Korean volunteers are very accommodating. They’ll help you around.
Korean Embassy
The Pacific Star Building
Sen. Gil Puyat corner Makati Avenue
Makati City, Philippines 1226
Phone: (+63) 2 811-6139 to 44
Office Hours: 8:30-12:00 and 1:30-5:30
i hope this helps…
jehan´s last blog ..DGP’s VMAs: Pick Your Video of the Year (2009)
thank you Ms Betchay and Ms Jehan
Ms Betchay, actually, we have not decided yet where we’ll get married. However, my fiance wants us to tie the knot here in the Philippines. ~not yet final~
Thank you for your reply Ms Jehan. i will just drop by municipal hall and Korean embassy next week. My fiance is excited and wants me to get the needed documents ASAP. ^^ (the feeling is mutual, actually.lol) by the way, i am under 25 y/o. Thank you so much!
Ms Jehan, what is the Korean term for the “Family Register Certificate” so I could ask my fiance to get it? Where will he get the said certificate? Is the last certificate just the same as our CENOMAR here in the Philippines? Sorry I asked a lot of questions.
~apple
you’re welcome apple!
it’s best that you and your fiance visit the korean embassy together. let him show them his passport and his 가족관계증명서 (ga-jok-gwan-gye-jeung-myeong-so) or Certificate of Family Relationship which should not be more than 3 months old from its date of issue here in Korea..
if his Cert. of Family Rel’p is almost 3 months old, they’d ask him to get a new one again (which he could ask any of his family members here to get for him and send [via EMS]).
if by chance he is a divorcee, he also needs to show his 혼인관계증명서 (hon-in-gwan-gye-jeung-myeong-so) or Certificate of Marriage Relationship showing that he really is divorced or that their divorce is already finalized.
from my CFO seminar, I encountered 2-3 pinays having problems with their CFO certificates because their husbands’ divorce weren’t finalized yet (they got married via matchmakers but their falsely or incompletely translated certificates were caught by the CFO personnel).. really too sad for them. these certificates are written in Korean. so the unsuspecting Filipinas didn’t know at first that they were getting married to a married man…
jehan´s last blog ..DGP’s VMAs: Pick Your Video of the Year (2009)
thanks ms jehan! ^^
luckily, my fiance is not a divorcee so i guess we will not be having problems. thank you and God bless..
~apple
Hello!
I came across this site yesterday looking up Dol ideas and traditions, etc as our neighbors daughter turns 1 today! I have to say it caught my attention because I am a korean woman married to a filipino man living in the US. I was wondering if anyone out there had any liks to organizations for our family to join or groups we could join to meet other couples or families like us. We live in the Boston are and are having a hard time finding families like us…although we are lucky enough to have a family across the street who is just like us!! It’s great but I want a community of children who are around our childrens age. Any suggestions??
Thanks! –
@ apple
you’re welcome.. take it one step at a time, don’t be stressed with the list of requirements you’ll see. btw, after your wedding, see to it that your wedding cert/contract will be forwarded immediately to NSO. you have to follow it up. you have to work on it. while working on them, go to the CFO office right away to get your seminar scheduled. you can attend the seminar while processing your papers…
good luck and God bless….
jehan´s last blog ..Goodbye Winter, Goodbye Clinique
san po ung CFO office? un po ba ung seminar para sa mga foreign wives? thank you
and pag nakuha ko n ung marriage certificate namin from NSO saka ko naman po yon ipapadala sa hubby ko para iregister sa korea..gnun po ba? tpos saka pa lang ako makakapagapply ng visa? o pde po n tourist n lng muna?
hi annie! you may visit http://www.cfo.gov.ph for more info on the seminar for foreign wives…
pagkakasal ninyo at nakuha mo marriage certificate from the city hall, punta agad sa Korean Embassy with your hubby at apply na ng visa… iinterbiyuhin kayo ng consul (pero most likely he’ll only talk to your hubby)… kung hindi mag-stay with you ang hubby mo at babalik siya ng korea, ipadala mo ang NSO marriage certificate mo sa kanya… papa-register niya sa “dong” office ang kasal ninyo at kukuha siya ng family register with your name on it… pag nakuha mo na ang family register, dalhin mo sa embassy kasama ng NSO marriage certificate at ibibigay sa yo passport mo with F-2-1 visa na nakatatak… better apply for 59 days visa para hindi ma-doble bayad mo (kasi kailangan mo rin extend pagdating mo ng Korea)… pag nakuha mo na visa mo, balik ka sa CFO office at bibigyan ka ng Emigrant sticker…
thank you po ms betchay! more power and God bless! ^^
Hi Ms. Betchay,
I have a korean bofriend and he always rushing me up to get married with him. What is the difference if I will be getting married in the Philippines or getting married only in Korea? Thanks and hope for your immediate reply.
More power!